You can have it all but…. – Thoughts on Defining Priorities

You can’t have it all!

Be it a hobby, career, social or personal life. You don’t have “check all” option all the time. You have to pick what’s important at the time.

I nod in silence when people tell me this (quite often lately!) but deep down, I never believed it.

Why can’t I have it all when I’m willing to work for it?

…

Back in December 2018, I had to make one of the toughest decisions of my life. I had to choose between my career and personal life. My then job ended at the same time my wedding was confirmed. I was in search of a miracle, a new job that would offer me a 4-week vacation within a month of joining.

The unexpected sure did happen, I got a new job offer within a short time but I only had 2 weeks before I had to leave for India for the wedding. The time wasn’t just enough for me to move to a new location, do the visa amendment for the new job and I wasn’t certain that I will get the needed vacation.

Not accepting the job meaning I might have to end up taking a 3-4-month long career break considering I’m an immigrant working in the States. They are complications involved and risk of putting everything I have worked so far at stake.

But delaying the wedding wasn’t the option either.

….

Everyone who knew (including Rajesh) suggested me to go back and enjoy the much-deserved break and spend some quality time with my parents before the wedding.

But the guilt of visiting my parents without a job was too high. What will my parents tell everyone? that she left behind everything to get married? And what about the promise I made to myself to always be financially independent? I felt like a disappointment letting my parents and myself down.

Why do I have to go through all this when it’s supposed to be the happiest time of my life? When I have everything planned, why now?

Soon I found myself in the endless loop of questioning my ability, worth and everything I have ever worked so hard for

…

I took a leap of faith and boarded the flight to India..

I was visiting my parents after 3 years and 8 months. It was the longest I have ever stayed away from home. My heart was full, I felt like I could take on anything now.

There were so many wonderful moments in the 2 months I was in India that I wouldn’t trade it for like meeting my nephew for the first time, spending time with my niece, eating home-cooked meal every day for a whole month, helping my dad and my brother plan every detail of my wedding, picking outfits for everyone in my family (the one they wore on my big day), designing some of my own outfits and last but not least the WEDDING.

Yet I had my doubts and insecurities about my career from time to time but what’s comforting is that I was THERE for my family sharing the stress, joy, living those little moments with them while being physically there instead of watching or hearing about them over a Facetime call.

I’ve realized how much I was absorbed into making my own life that I forgot to notice a few things. I needed this reminder to revisit my priorities. 

….

I dreamed a normal wedding like every other working girl has, take a vacation, get married, and get back to work. Guess normal is not for everyone,

You can have it all …but not at the same time!

My career may have to take a back seat for a few months while my family, friends, and memories take the front seat.

If I learned one thing in these past 2 months is that

It’s ok to drop a thing or 2 while trying to do it all. 

Sometimes, not getting what we want turns out to be just what we really needed all along. 

I must admit I feel like I am heading into the darkest unknown of my life right now, but when I look back into the moments I pushed through the rock bottom. It’s impossible not to trust that life will unfold as it should and I have tremendous support from my husband and family.

Being content with reality not only helps you live in the moment but also helps you make beautiful memories for the future.

I want to particularly share this with you all because behind all the happy pictures, there is also stress, heartaches, REAL life that is hard to get noticed sometimes in the social media

Shop this Spring Outfit:

Tweed dress (c/o Shein; on sale for $13) | Pearl Necklace c/o Carolee (last seen here) similar pumps here, here and here

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